Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love,
the heartache, the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.
- Author Unknown
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Baby Lucas is one month old!
Baby Lucas turned one month old on Nov 26, and we had a mini celebration with family and close friends to celebrate.
Update - he's chubbier now, thanks to the constant supply of fresh milk from his cow (that's me :P). When I weighed him at home on my digital weighing scale, he was 3.8kg on Dec 1 - not a bad accomplishment.
Too bad he couldn't eat any of his cakes...
The star was mostly sleeping throughout the event, but attracted lots of "visitors" like an animal in a zoo (Baby Paul Frank outfit courtesy of Aunty Irene)
Update - he's chubbier now, thanks to the constant supply of fresh milk from his cow (that's me :P). When I weighed him at home on my digital weighing scale, he was 3.8kg on Dec 1 - not a bad accomplishment.
Too bad he couldn't eat any of his cakes...
The star was mostly sleeping throughout the event, but attracted lots of "visitors" like an animal in a zoo (Baby Paul Frank outfit courtesy of Aunty Irene)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Moo moo time!
It's tough being a cow... now I realise that it's not easy committing to total breastfeeding, especially when you have a fussy and impatient big eater at hand who insists on being breastfed and then bottle-fed for each and every feeding session. So the routine now is: latch, bottle feed, pump; latch, bottle feed, pump; and the cycle repeats every 3 hourly. Oh, not forgetting the diaper change before every feed.
The drill gets worse during the night shift, for that's when I am all alone to handle a crying and impatient baby all by myself, while mindful to keep his crying to a minimum so as not to wake Pi up. Imagine that, plus the obligatory cuddling (which can sometimes stretch to as long as 1 hour or more if he's fussy!) before the lil' one will go to sleep, and then I have to quickly sneak in 15 minutes of pumping before he wakes up. On bad nights, when he's especially fussy and refuses to go to sleep, the whole cycle can drag on for 2 hours before I finally get to pump, and then in a few minutes' time, the next cycle starts again.
It's times like these that I ask myself, what have I gotten myself into, why did I give up my freedom for this? But one look at his peaceful and angelic face when he's fast asleep, and I tell myself, it's all worth it.
Now I appreciate mothers even more... ;)
One of my fav peeks courtesy of small O - feeding time!
2nd feeding in progress
And the contented sleep in the aftermath...
The drill gets worse during the night shift, for that's when I am all alone to handle a crying and impatient baby all by myself, while mindful to keep his crying to a minimum so as not to wake Pi up. Imagine that, plus the obligatory cuddling (which can sometimes stretch to as long as 1 hour or more if he's fussy!) before the lil' one will go to sleep, and then I have to quickly sneak in 15 minutes of pumping before he wakes up. On bad nights, when he's especially fussy and refuses to go to sleep, the whole cycle can drag on for 2 hours before I finally get to pump, and then in a few minutes' time, the next cycle starts again.
It's times like these that I ask myself, what have I gotten myself into, why did I give up my freedom for this? But one look at his peaceful and angelic face when he's fast asleep, and I tell myself, it's all worth it.
Now I appreciate mothers even more... ;)
One of my fav peeks courtesy of small O - feeding time!
2nd feeding in progress
And the contented sleep in the aftermath...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Photo update
Packing up and ready to go to the hospital:
Waiting in the labour ward:
Baby Lucas makes his first appearance:
Post surgery - getting my first glimpse of lil' Lucas at 4.30am after an eternity's wait:
More to come, the lil' one is crying for his milk now...
Waiting in the labour ward:
Baby Lucas makes his first appearance:
Post surgery - getting my first glimpse of lil' Lucas at 4.30am after an eternity's wait:
More to come, the lil' one is crying for his milk now...
Welcome to the world!
Ok, it's been a while since I blogged, but I told myself that no matter what, I MUST jot down the whole birthing experience, so that it will remain etched in my mind no matter how caught up I am with motherhood and taking care of baby Lucas.
It was truly unexpected. Pi was telling me how his colleague told him that baby Lucas might decide to make his grand arrival any time now, but we were laughing it off and telling ourselves, "It's one month more to his EDD, surely it won't happen to us!"
Speak of the devil...
On Oct 25, a Sunday, I was having a sleepless night, tossing and turning in my bed as I was experiencing what I initially thought were cramps - probably a more serious case of Braxton Hicks, I told myself. The next day, we were due for our regular review with the gynae, so Pi mentioned to the doc that I was feeling unwell. Imagine our shock when she said, "I think you'd better do the c-sec sooon, probably today or tomorrow, as I don't think we can wait any longer."
Being one for orderliness, imagine my horror as I realized I had so many things left undone - thinking that I had one more week to the scheduled c-sec on Nov 3. The sterilizer was not cleaned, the milk bottles were not washed, worse still, I had not even begun to pack my hospital bag!
Once the decision was made to go for the surgery that very evening at 8pm, Pi and I rushed home to pack the hospital bag before making our way to the hospital full of fear of the unknown, at the same time, anticipation at finally being able to see Lucas in flesh and blood (literally!).
The rest, at least to me, is something that I'd rather forget (I mean the pain in the aftermath of the surgery, of course) but remains deeply etched in my mind. Here's a brief recap of the sequence of events:
- 5.30pm: Set off for Mt A and fetched Pi's mum on the way
- 6pm: Reached Mt A, checked into the delivery ward
- 6+pm: Nurses came back to prep me for the surgery - inserting the urine tube, shaving down there, whatnots; all this time, I just recalled how hungry I was, having not eaten or drank anything since 2pm that day
- 7+pm: Nurses came to wheel me into the delivery room, Pi was asked to wait for me outside
- 7.30pm: Saw the doc at the delivery room, who assured me that Lucas would be out by 8pm; last thing I knew was being knocked out after the anaesthetist said "have a good sleep"
- 8.45pm: Came to consciousness after what seemed to be a really weird dream; first thing that took over me was the pain from the c-sec wound
- 8.45+pm: Nurses wheeled me back to my room (lucky number 333), saw Pi on the way, in my groggy state I only remembered how happy I was to finally see him again; overcame by the most terrible pain I have ever encountered in my life when the nurses transferred me to my bed
- 9+pm: The family came by to visit me; I remembered clamoring to meet baby Lucas all the while but was told that he was under observation for 6 hours in the NICU and that I would only be able to see him from 2am
- Rest of the night: Waited up and keep bugging the nurses to let me see baby Lucas
- 4.30am: Finally got my first glance of baby Lucas; first thought in my mind - a miracle must have happened, I couldn't believe that this little thing came from my tummy!
I also tried latching on Lucas for the first time early the next morning, and nothing could describe how it felt having him suckle for 20 minutes. Such is the joy and wonders of motherhood!
Unfortunately, baby Lucas had to return to the NICU the same day, where he stayed for the next 10 days, as being a preemie, he had problems digesting his FM. I was discharged on Oct 31, and Pi and I visited him daily at the NICU until he finally was able to come home with us on Nov 5.
And so the challenges of parenthood began, but that is another story...
It was truly unexpected. Pi was telling me how his colleague told him that baby Lucas might decide to make his grand arrival any time now, but we were laughing it off and telling ourselves, "It's one month more to his EDD, surely it won't happen to us!"
Speak of the devil...
On Oct 25, a Sunday, I was having a sleepless night, tossing and turning in my bed as I was experiencing what I initially thought were cramps - probably a more serious case of Braxton Hicks, I told myself. The next day, we were due for our regular review with the gynae, so Pi mentioned to the doc that I was feeling unwell. Imagine our shock when she said, "I think you'd better do the c-sec sooon, probably today or tomorrow, as I don't think we can wait any longer."
Being one for orderliness, imagine my horror as I realized I had so many things left undone - thinking that I had one more week to the scheduled c-sec on Nov 3. The sterilizer was not cleaned, the milk bottles were not washed, worse still, I had not even begun to pack my hospital bag!
Once the decision was made to go for the surgery that very evening at 8pm, Pi and I rushed home to pack the hospital bag before making our way to the hospital full of fear of the unknown, at the same time, anticipation at finally being able to see Lucas in flesh and blood (literally!).
The rest, at least to me, is something that I'd rather forget (I mean the pain in the aftermath of the surgery, of course) but remains deeply etched in my mind. Here's a brief recap of the sequence of events:
- 5.30pm: Set off for Mt A and fetched Pi's mum on the way
- 6pm: Reached Mt A, checked into the delivery ward
- 6+pm: Nurses came back to prep me for the surgery - inserting the urine tube, shaving down there, whatnots; all this time, I just recalled how hungry I was, having not eaten or drank anything since 2pm that day
- 7+pm: Nurses came to wheel me into the delivery room, Pi was asked to wait for me outside
- 7.30pm: Saw the doc at the delivery room, who assured me that Lucas would be out by 8pm; last thing I knew was being knocked out after the anaesthetist said "have a good sleep"
- 8.45pm: Came to consciousness after what seemed to be a really weird dream; first thing that took over me was the pain from the c-sec wound
- 8.45+pm: Nurses wheeled me back to my room (lucky number 333), saw Pi on the way, in my groggy state I only remembered how happy I was to finally see him again; overcame by the most terrible pain I have ever encountered in my life when the nurses transferred me to my bed
- 9+pm: The family came by to visit me; I remembered clamoring to meet baby Lucas all the while but was told that he was under observation for 6 hours in the NICU and that I would only be able to see him from 2am
- Rest of the night: Waited up and keep bugging the nurses to let me see baby Lucas
- 4.30am: Finally got my first glance of baby Lucas; first thought in my mind - a miracle must have happened, I couldn't believe that this little thing came from my tummy!
I also tried latching on Lucas for the first time early the next morning, and nothing could describe how it felt having him suckle for 20 minutes. Such is the joy and wonders of motherhood!
Unfortunately, baby Lucas had to return to the NICU the same day, where he stayed for the next 10 days, as being a preemie, he had problems digesting his FM. I was discharged on Oct 31, and Pi and I visited him daily at the NICU until he finally was able to come home with us on Nov 5.
And so the challenges of parenthood began, but that is another story...
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Surprise surprise!
Got this specially custom-made for lil' Lucas - nice isn't it?
front:
back:
Update from gynae visit on Oct 20 - the lil' one is now 2.8-3kg, and we have confirmed the c-sec date as Nov 3, first thing in the morning. And for the first time, we got quite a clear view of his face. It was truly a breathtaking moment for Pi and me, until I couldn't help but comment, "He's got a big nose, just like his father!"... hehe
front:
back:
Update from gynae visit on Oct 20 - the lil' one is now 2.8-3kg, and we have confirmed the c-sec date as Nov 3, first thing in the morning. And for the first time, we got quite a clear view of his face. It was truly a breathtaking moment for Pi and me, until I couldn't help but comment, "He's got a big nose, just like his father!"... hehe
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
2, 8, 11, 3...
Another update after a trip to the gynae's last Friday (which also happened to be our wedding anniversary, so it was a great way to celebrate by seeing our lil' one!):
Lucas is 2kg now, still heavier than babies his "age" - according to baby center, Lucas is supposed to be only 1.5kg now, so you know how much of a heavy weight he is ;). Doc says he will be an estimated 8 pounds (or about 3.7kg) when he makes his grand arrival into the world.
While we are on numbers...
Since mine is going to be a planned c-sec, doc gave us a choice of dates, as long as it falls between the 1st to 10th of Nov. Pi wanted 11 Nov at first (11/11) - which he said was easy to remember - but doc said it was too late. Then he went for 1 Nov (1/11) - again, his lazy way out for ease of remembrance - but the 'pantang' me consulted the Chinese calendar which said that day clashes with people born in the year of the dragon (me), so I said no.
Thanks to the help of my Dad and Aunt, who consulted a fengshui master, we narrowed down the dates to a few, and after consulting the Chinese calendar again, the date is finally set - 3 Nov it shall be.
And so the countdown begins...
Lucas is 2kg now, still heavier than babies his "age" - according to baby center, Lucas is supposed to be only 1.5kg now, so you know how much of a heavy weight he is ;). Doc says he will be an estimated 8 pounds (or about 3.7kg) when he makes his grand arrival into the world.
While we are on numbers...
Since mine is going to be a planned c-sec, doc gave us a choice of dates, as long as it falls between the 1st to 10th of Nov. Pi wanted 11 Nov at first (11/11) - which he said was easy to remember - but doc said it was too late. Then he went for 1 Nov (1/11) - again, his lazy way out for ease of remembrance - but the 'pantang' me consulted the Chinese calendar which said that day clashes with people born in the year of the dragon (me), so I said no.
Thanks to the help of my Dad and Aunt, who consulted a fengshui master, we narrowed down the dates to a few, and after consulting the Chinese calendar again, the date is finally set - 3 Nov it shall be.
And so the countdown begins...
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